we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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