are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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