Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
