Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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