I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
what is it with giant penises always finding me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
