I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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