I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
