I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
