don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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