I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
