I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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