my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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