I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
