i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
