The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
