Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize