I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
