Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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