In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
