my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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