Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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