if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
