apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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