You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
