My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
