I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
