You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
