why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
