He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize