i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
