is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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