she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you had me at cake vodka
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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