used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize