Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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