I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Randomize
