Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
