2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize