No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Found your dick twin last night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
