i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
