There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
