I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
