Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize