oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
