Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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