he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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