Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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