Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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