the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
