lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
