where does the pee come out of this thing
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
