i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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