why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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