absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
