if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
