My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
