But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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