He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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