Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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